


If I eat pancakes at 2am is it a breakfast or night food?

by Mufffy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay, I Blame Tumblr, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It doesn't actually happen, It gets dark kids, Kissing, M/M, Men Crying, New arms, Nightmares, Pancakes, Pet Names, RPF, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sorry Not Sorry, Swearing, Talk of Suicide, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wedding Talk, maybe later though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 19:45:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16070018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: Shiro thought coming home to surprise his boyfriend would be a nice surprise.





	If I eat pancakes at 2am is it a breakfast or night food?

It probably seemed a little weird to Matt with how his family was acting. They all took him out to an all you can eat just on a whim. When he pestered his sister about it, she just gave him a look and pinched his arm before responding about how he needed to hush and enjoy the all you can eat buffet. Of course, there was an emphasis on the all you can eat part. 

While they were gone, it was up to Shiro to get settled in at their home and prepare for their return. He had been deployed for some time now. Almost two years at this point. Normally it wouldn't have been this long but the last few months has been a little rough and Shiro had lost a part of him, but was given a prosthetic to cover it. How was Matt going to react to the prosthetic arm he had been given? He could only sit in the other's bedroom and wait until he heard them come home. 

Matt was still questioning his family even when they got home. They only went out for special occasions and birthdays and last time he checked, no one had a birthday. He was even more confused when Katie told him to wait in the living, facing the front door as she ran upstairs. He got stuck staring at his parents as heard Katie running around "..No one's gonna tell me what's going on?" He asked, watching his parents shrug. He sighed and kept staring at them. 

Katie quickly ran up the stairs, checking Matt's room before whispering "We're home, come on!" She grinned.

Shiro had got up when he heard the door open and shut and was currently dusting himself off. He had been laying back on Matt's bed waiting for them and feeling relaxed to be somewhere home and familiar. Although, as he was getting ready to head down on his own he saw Katie peek in. "I'm on my way." He responded before watching her run off and then following her downstairs. 

He slowly paced down the stars, looking at Matt with his back turned and smiled wide. "Long time no see, huh?" 

Katie smiled and lead him back downstairs, walking in front of Matt, quickly turning him around so he couldn't turn. She grinned and walked in front of him, looking behind Matt at Shiro. 

Matt watched her in confusion before staring at her with wide eyes. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he bit his lip. He hated that nervous tick. He looked up into his parent's eyes, smiling softly "You didn't.." He whispered, already crying. He shook his head as he turned around slowly, nearly falling over as he looked at Shiro. He stood still, unknowing what do to as he stared with tears streaming down his face. 

"Kashi..?" He mumbled, walking quickly around the table to Shiro's side, reaching up to pull him down by the neck, holding him tightly close "..I hate you so much" He muttered.

Shiro slid his arms around him, being slow about the prosthetic one, but kept him close to his chest. Seeing Matt's expression and the look on his face was priceless. He missed that face so much. "It's me. The one and only." He chuckled, feeling his own eyes well up with tears. His hold on him tightened slightly as he pressed his head down against him. 

"Thought I'd give you a good surprise in coming home." 

He sniffled, laughing softly as he raised his hands to his face to wipe his tears. He hated crying in front of his family, anyone for that matter, but not Shiro "I missed you so much" He whispered, feeling a difference in his arms around him before ignoring it "Thank you.. I love it" He laughed, having to get off his toes to stand flat, pulling away to look up at him "Are you home for good? Please tell me you're home for good" He whispered quickly, smiling up at him 

"I'm home for good this time." He reached up with his good hand and stroked over Matt's hair. "I missed you too, you have no idea. I couldn't wait to get my chance to come home and hold you in my arms again..." Shiro then wiped his own eyes with a shaky little laugh. 

"Now it's just you and me against the world, hm?" 

"Thank god" He whispered, smiling as he stared up at Shiro "Oh my god, you're being such a dork right now" He mumbled, laughing softly "You sound like a cheesy Tumblr post" He snorted, taking Shiro's other hand before looking down at it in surprise. 

He looked back up at Shiro and frowned before taking his prosthetic, hugging it close to his chest "I missed you" He smiled, looking back up at him "And I still love you, no matter what" He grinned, intertwining their fingers to squeeze them 

"I'm being serious. I missed you a lot though." Shiro grinned, his smile faltering as Matt took notice in his prosthetic. He watched him with a bit of worry and smiled again as he seemed to be okay with it. 

"Thank god you do. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't because I didn't have my arm."

He grinned and flexed his fingers in between Shiro's "Uh.. I don't think I'd be a very good boyfriend then" He laughed, ignoring the way his mom just repeated the word 'boyfriend'. 

"Actually.. I've been studying at the garrison while you were gone in computer programming and 3D designing.. If you're catching my drift" He winked, smiling up at him.

"What's say I make you a new arm?" He grinned.

Shiro slowly let his fingers curl to hold Matt's hand more comfortably. "You've really been working hard then huh? Sure. I'm sure you can do a super awesome job because I have complete faith in you." He leaned down to peck his lips for a brief second. 

"I almost fell asleep before you came home. I was just laying back on your bed about to fall asleep when I heard the door." 

He smiled at the feeling of Shiro's hand in his own, missing the feeling "Thanks Kashi" he whispering, smiling after the kiss, listening to his family gasp.

He snorted briefly "Do you want to sleep? We can go to my room and you can lay down and sleep" Matt smirked, already turning to pull him towards the stairs 

"That sounds wonderful. Honestly, the sooner I can get out of this uniform the better." He chuckled softly before turning to follow Matt before he got a chance to pull him. He turned slightly to give a wave to Katie and both his parents. "Thank you! All of you." 

As they were on their way up the stairs, Shiro let out a soft sigh, head rolling around to stretch. "I can't wait to lay down and hold you. Two years is two too many." 

"Oh, undressing already" He whispered, teasing him as he walked up the stairs to his room, waving to his sister 

"They're gonna fuck" 

"Katie!" 

Matt laughed, pushing his door open as he pulled Shiro in, closing the door behind him "I'm up for literally anything expect sex at this point, after not seeing you for so long, I'm ready to be held" He smiled, pushing himself away from the door to hug Shiro's torso "Please never go away again.." 

"I was about to say. I really don't want anything to do with sex I'm more tired than anything." He chuckled as he entered the room and turned to look at Matt. Although, feeling Matt move close and hug him tight he just frowned and held him close. "The only time I may need to go away is for instructional things which will really only be a few weeks." He pressed a soft kiss to his head. "It's also not like I'll not be able to talk when doing instructing work." 

Matt chuckled "I don't want sex either, I was joking" He mumbled, frowning as Shiro informed him "Don't be gone too long again though, okay?" He whispered, exhaling into Shiro's chest, smiling at his kiss "You promise to at least text and call? Because I'm gonna worry" He laughed softly. 

He glanced at his desk and back to his bed before taking Shiro's hand and climbing on his bed to stand, holding Shiro's head to kiss his forehead.

"It's only a few towns over that I'd have to go so it's not like I'm going to be out of the country." He chuckled. "They may want me to instruct at the Garrison too." He gently ran a hand over his hair before he was pulled away by the other and into his bed. 

"This has got to be the best bed in the world right now." 

He nodded "Good! Maybe I could come with you one time or another if I'm missing you?" He pouted slightly "Really?! Oh my god yes!" he gasped, jumping on the bed a little before stopping, smiling next to him, kissing him again 

"Hm, I don't know, I kind of want a bigger one so I can be a starfish" He snorted, covering his mouth a little ".. I really did miss you" He mumbled "..So much" 

"You can't starfish with me in the bed you dork." He rolled his eyes, pulling him to his chest before craning down to start peppering kisses all along his cheek. "Also, maybe you can come someday."

He shrugged "Maybe I wanna starfish and push you off the bed" He smirked "I think I'm big enough to" He grinned, leaning into him before covering his face with his hands "Yeah-" he laughed, pushing his face away, covering his mouth "I'd like to" He grinned, sitting up to lean across Shiro's body, turning off his desk lamp to lay back down 

Shiro shifted from where he laughed, smiling at Matt a little bit. "You're such a happy dork I love you." He gently ran his hand over his back before coming up to rest on his own chest. "Oh.. should I just go ahead and tell you something?" He bit his lip a little. "It's nothing bad I just don't want to freak you out." 

He laughed, smiling widely "I love you too" he mumbled, humming contently before snapping his eyes open "What?" He whispered, feeling a spark run up his spine as he panicked slightly "Um.. S-sure.." 

"So... I... These last few months I've been kind of undergoing treatment and... I..." Shiro sighed and rubbed his face. "I've been diagnosed with severe nightmares on top of my PTSD and... Yeah." 

Matt frowned, watching his face worryingly before splitting into a soft, understand smile "It's gonna be okay" he whispered, reaching a hand up to stroke Shiro's face "I'll be here. If you wake up panicking, wake me up and I'll help" He smiled, raising a hand to mess up his hair 

He sat up after and leaned over to turn on his light again "I don’t know about you, but I'm not sleeping in skinny jeans" he mumbled, crawling out of bed, walking to his dresser "I uh.." he stopped to cough "Kind of kept a bunch of your clothes here, including a lot of pajamas you forgot here so.. yeah, they’re in the bottom drawer" He mumbled, picking out clothes before walking into his bathroom, closing the door behind him as he got dressed.

"Aaaah. Honestly, thank you but I'll do my best not to wake you up if it's not needed. Also, thank you." He chuckled as he sat up. "I mean I had some stuff in my bag but it isn't much." Shiro pulled himself up and started to peel his uniform off. A low hum left him as his weight shifted from side to side before walking to pull out some of his pajamas that he found. 

"It all smells like me!" he called through the door, smiling a little as he leaned on the door, waiting for Shiro to get dressed "You know, if you have a hoodie- I would love to steal one right now" he laughed through the door, smiling softly "It might look like I don’t have pants since I’m in volleyball shorts but still.." 

"You can search through my bag. I think I have one from my recovery." He shifted as he pulled his shirt on with a satisfying sigh. "Nice to be on soft clothes again." He watched Matt for a moment with a slight grin forming. "I forget how much larger I am than you honestly." 

He grinned, already rummaging for some sort of hoodie "Nice to be in things I remember you in" he smiled, pulling out one of Shiro's hoodies, holding it up to his chest "Oh shut the hell up" he laughed, grabbing a pillow from the bed to throw at him. 

He held the hoodie to his body again before pulling it over his head, messing up his hair as he pulled it to his thighs "Did you grow since the last time I saw you?" He laughed "Please say no"  
Shiro laughed as he caught the pillow before tossing it back. He then began to fold and put his uniform away while Matt dressed. "I did a little. I became a bit broader but that's it." He shrugged slightly as he finished cleaning his uniform stuff up. 

He jumped a little, avoiding the pillow as he pulled the front of the hoodie up to his nose to smell it, closing his eyes momentarily "Smells like you and sweat" he grinned before frowning "Stop getting taller, how else am I gonna be able to hug and kiss you?" He pouted a little before sitting at his desk chair, crossing his legs.

"You grow taller too." He snorted, climbing back on the bed as he looked at his hands. "So, you really don't mind that I have this prosthetic right? Like..." He scrunched his nose up. "I know you said you didn't but I'm honestly still a bit concerned... It's not really me but..." 

He snorted "Like half an inch" he mumbled, turning around to look at Shiro "Of course not. I could care less as long as you came back alive" He whispered, smiling widely at him. He stood up from his chair and walked to the bed, standing in front of him to kiss his forehead, cradling his head "I promise, I'm absolutely okay with it" 

He kept his gaze downwards, closing his eyes as he cradled his head. "You're right. I just... Looking at it and being here... Matt, I'm not the man I used to be and I'm so scared one day you're just going to fall out of love with me because of it and... It's not my fault who I am now." 

He frowned, running his fingers through Shiro's hair, his hand stopping as he listened "Hey, hey, hey, Stop" he whispered, crouching in front of Shiro to look up at him, pushing his glasses up "I will never stop loving you.. I loved you ever since you asked me out and if I stayed around for two years after you left, I'm sure as hell not leaving once I've got you back. You could go crazy, and I'd still be here. Nothing is your fault, and I promise you I will never leave you" He smiled, reaching up to cradle his face in his tiny fingers "I love you, and no arm, battle scar or trauma is going to make me stop" he grinned widely, standing up to kiss him softly "I promise" 

Shiro met Matt's gaze, genuinely scared of something like this happening. His head tilted and turned as he listened to everything Matt as saying. "Thank you. Really. I'm sorry if this gets hard because my stupid head just doesn't work right." He sighed out before leaning up into the kiss from where he was sitting. "You're such a sweetheart... What would I do without you?" 

He giggled softly, rubbing his head softly "Don't apologize for being anxious, your stupid little brain just worries" He grinned, kissing his forehead softly "Hm.. Probably sleep" He teased, rubbing his head before walking back to his desk to sit, starting his computer up "Or maybe lead a successful single life. It's true that a mere fourteen percent of people end up marrying the person they dated in high school after all" he smiled "Maybe you'd decided to be a vet instead.. or continue down the path of life to find someone who's not.. weird like me" He snorted "Life is a mystery" 

"Thanks for the statistics." He rolled his eyes before slowly laying back onto the bed. "I'd actually probably be sleepy and forget how to make a proper meal." He looked at Matt on his computer before smiling. "I wouldn't give up this life for anything. My cute little tech nerd." 

He laughed and grinned "Sure thing babe" he smirked, kicking his feet up on his desk "Who needs real food when there are ramen and Lunchables though? I could live off fast food for the rest of my life" He laughed, sitting up to cross his legs as he grabbed a strange looking pen and walking to Shiro's side "I am.. not a nerd?" He mumbled, clicking the pen to reveal a grid light, grabbing Shiro's arm to pull it out, hovering the light over the top of it before taking his other to scan, walking back to the desk "Maybe I am, but I didn't admit that" He smiled.

"That's so bad for your body though. You know I can't even bring myself to eat a McDonald's anymore. Something about it tastes so weird." He watched as Matt grabbed his arm and scanned it before smiling a little. His nerd at work. "Do I need to keep this out for you?" He questioned before turning it over slightly. "I can take it off you'll just have to give me a minute." 

"Uh, considering I haven't eaten in like.. fuck If I remember when, I could go for a disgusting greasy burger at this point" He laughed and shook his head as he messed with a few wires "Nope, I just needed a scan for the right hand. I could've technically used my arm and used your left to make them the same, but I've scanned myself a bunch so it gets boring" He mumbled, staring at a loading screen before turning in his swivel chair to look at him "I'm gonna make you a new arm made of metal, but probably lithium, which has a density of 0.534 g/cm3 meaning it's.. just around half of water's density so it'd float against water, but I'm thinking I could just use cast iron or steel, but hopefully not make it so heavy.. I'll work out the details later" He mumbled, smiling at him "So.. how's my tired soldier doing?" 

"Doing good. Listening to my cute nerd talk about a new arm he's going to make me." He slowly pulled his arm back to be resting over his chest. "Thank you for making me one first of all, and second... If you somehow find out how to make more efficient better prosthetics then honestly you'll be set for life on helping guys like me. You know? Not to mention people who really need them.." 

He laughed slightly, smiling at him "You're a dork then" he muttered before shrugging "I don't know.. It's just a hobby right now" He smiled shyly "Creating whole body parts and limbs for people, aha, as weird as a hobby that that is, i've actually known people to do worse" He smiled "Besides, I don't work well under pressure, so being forced to make things aren't really good for me" he shrugged, turning back to his computer, bringing up the models of Shiro's arms, adjusting things as he rapidly typed on the computer "Also, don't mention it, I love you and, I wanted to do this for you, so like.. get some sleep while I work, it's okay" 

"That's fair." He rolled into his side, pulling a pillow to tuck under his head. "I mean it's not like you'd be forcing them out it's like... Commissions or something." He suggested before smiling and then yawning. "I'll try to squeeze in a little nap, but alright. Don't stay up too long. I want to cuddle my boyfriend while I sleep at some point ." 

He glanced back behind him, smiling widely "I guess, but still, if lots of people commissioned me then I'd freak out a bit" he mumbled, staring at the computer screen intensely "Yeah, yeah.. I'll uh, make sure to sleep at some point" he mumbled, not paying full attention as he shifted the SD model on the screen, making more adjustments 

"You better or I'm gonna drag you to bed." He chuckled, slowly closing his eyes before relaxing a little bit. "I love you, Matt..." Shiro murmured before rolling over and curling his legs up.

He laughed a little and smiled "Good luck" He whispered, turning the computer brightness down to not disturb Shiro before looking back at him "I love you more, Kasih" he grinned, turning back quickly, getting back to work 

Shiro took a little while but was eventually sound asleep. He wasn't really moving much until later when he seemed to be tossing a bit much and his breathing seemed to pick up. He was also pawing at his prosthetic on the occasion. 

Matt kept working before he stopped, taking his hands away from his computer to listen, making sure he wasn't imagining it. He turned in his chair, frowning at Shiro as he got up and hesitantly walked to him, putting a hand over his fidgeting hand, feeling the warmth of his skin "Sh, It's okay" He whispered, crouching next to him "It's gonna be okay, I'm here, I've got you" He whispered some more, raising another hand to his forearm, rubbing small circles into his skin 

He still seemed fidgety and a bit panicked but wasn't moving as much. Although, he soon jolted awake, grabbing at his arm with eyes wide. "My... My team.. My... Where...?" Shiro looked around before looking at Matt and sighing. "Oh... Shit, sorry... Huh..." 

He watched, frowning a little before smiling nervously, jumping back with a short scream. He frowned and sat back up in his knees, standing up to crawl into bed sitting in front of him "It's alright, you're fine" He whispered, taking Shiro's face in his hands "There's no need to apologize" He smiled "..Do you know of anything that comforts you at night?" 

"It's been months. It's been fucking months." He breathed, running his hands over his face before Matt touched his face. "I've not been able to find anything. You being here helps. Normally I just wake up alone and panic more.. This... This helps." 

"Sh, sh" Matt hushed him, stroking his cheek "It's okay, it's a natural thing" he whispered, smiling a little as his face heated up "Alright, I'll lay down with you, how's that sound? I can hold you close and keep you safe. Promise" he smiled widely "Or if you wanna hold me for comfort, you can. Just say the word and I'm in" He whispered, kissing his forehead 

"You don't have to. You can go back to work." He ran a hand along Matt's arm and up to cup his neck. "I'll be fine... I've handled it alone many times I'll just calm down and try again." Shiro offered him a charming smile. 

He shook his head "I've worked enough, you're more important" he grinned before slowly frowning "..Are you sure? I know you say you liked to do things alone and think you can, but sometimes you do need help, but you're just stubborn. I'm gonna be here if you need me, no matter what" 

"I know. I want your help but I don't want to bother you either, you know?" He looked up at him before moving to take his hands in his own. "You'll be dealing with my stupid self a bit until I go home... Which may be tomorrow or so? I don't know." 

"You could never bother me! Oh my god, you've been gone for two years and still don't want to bother anyone. Shiro, I'm your boyfriend, meaning, waking me up at four in the morning is like a requirement" he grinned, looking at their hands before looking up to frown "You have to go so early..?" He asked, his eyes full of sorrow "I understand though, but how about we get some sleep now?" He smiled, tilting his head 

"Is that really a requirement?" He chuckled softly, fingers playing with his hands before he looked up at him. "I mean... I don't.. I don't have to but I told your parents I wouldn't burden you guys much longer or anything." 

"Not necessarily, but it's always welcome" He grinned, squeezing his fingers softly "It's alright, I promise!" He grinned widely "I'll always be here, and if my family has issues, I'll tell them that I wanted you here. Unless of course, you want to see your family and everyone else, obviously, but you're always going to be welcome here. I'll tell my parents.. Like, I should probably tell them that we're dating" He mumbled.

"I mean... Really I just live alone. I do need to go see my mom sometime. That requires me flying over somewhere else and... Ugh..." He sighed out and ran a hand over his face before looking up at Matt with a little smile. "I mean... Telling them that might actually help." 

"Is an invitation to come and live you?" He joked as he laughed "I'm joking, but you should go see your mom after some point. I'm sure she'd wanna see you just as much as I did" he smiled, taking Shiro's hand away from his face again to hold it "Well, they probably saw us kiss.. So I don't think it's necessary" 

"I will... I need to go see her. Maybe I can take you too. I don't want to just up and leave after coming home." He chuckled softly before leaning back to fall against the bed. "They did see us kiss... Forgot about that." 

"You should definitely take me with you!" He grinned widely before frowning "I know, but your mom is your mom, and I'm just your boyfriend. Priority is family first" He whispered, letting go of Shiro's hands to sit crossed legged next to him "I'm sure they've figured it out by now, it's fine" 

"In the time that I've been here and been this close with all of you and your family it's like you're already my family... Like. Not in a weird way you know? But yeah. Taking you to Japan should be fun." 

"Kashi, you telling me that my family is your family is basically asking me if I wanna get married, which I'm willing one day so you can have a father in law and Katie will have another brother. Aw, that'd be cute" he smirked, crawling on top of Shiro to straddle his stomach, smiling down at him "I'd probably get lost or embarrass myself.. or both. Probably both" 

"Oh... Is it?" He narrowed his eyes in brief thought before sighing out. "Ah. I'll think of it later." He murmured before looking up at his boyfriend. "You may get lost or something but I'll always be there to find and protect you." 

He snorted a little, covering his nose, smiling down at him "One day" He smiled "If you won’t propose then I might" He teased, bending over to hover over him, blushing lightly "Yeesh, you sound like an edgy Tumblr post" He mumbled before sitting back up "But I appreciate it" he smiled 

"I don't know if you know this, Matt but my whole life is an entire Tumblr edgy shitpost." He started to try and lean up to kiss him. He then huffed and fell back into the bed. "For real.. I might avoid proposing so I can see you coming up with some dorky way." 

He laughed loudly, covering his mouth as he trembled, holding in his laugh, his face growing red "Shiro, honey.. I'd give that post notes" He smiled, humming a little as he leaned down to kiss his nose before leaning back up "Ugh, you're unbelievable" He muttered "..I've got one or.. six ways to propose already in my head" He smirked softly 

He smiled a little bit at him before moving to gently rest his hands on his waist. "Well, I mean... You said it I just followed up. Also, I can't wait for you to mash up all six of them." 

He jumped a little, laying his hands on Shiro's chest, slightly fidgeting "Taka, we both know I'd be too nervous to propose, can we just agree one day we'll get married?" he joked "Even if I did, what makes you so certain you'd say yes?" he mumbled, glancing away from him 

"Because fuck statistics and you're the one guy I know that can make me happy like this." He murmured before leaning up to press a few kisses to his head. "I love you and I want you to marry me and me marry you." 

Matt smiled softly, letting out a soft laugh as his face heated up "It's so unfair that you can do," he stopped to gesture to his face "This" He laughed "But I can't do anything to make you red and embarrassed.. " He mumbled before rubbing his cheeks "I'd be melting if my face got any hotter" 

"You make me blush." He chuckled softly. "I mean... I guess I don't get as flustered as you do that often." He yawned out and let his head roll to the side. " man. You're already hot so I'm surprised you haven't melted yet." 

He pouted a little "Exactly" He mumbled, frowning as he took his hands away, laying them back on Shiro's chest. He smiled, raising a hand to his shoulder before cupping his cheek, ignoring the pink that tinted his face "You're sweet" He whispered before softly kissing him. 

He let him go, moving his hands to climb off of his chest, turning off the lights as he came back, bending to kiss him again "Good night, Kashi" He whispered, pushing the white tuff from his face 

"I try my best to be as sweet as I can..." He chuckled and closed his eyes. "Goodnight Matt. My nerdy prince." Shiro teased him. He'd try this sleep thing one more time. Who knows if he'd be able to sleep the rest of the night. Regardless, he wasn't going to disturb Matt as best as he could. 

"And you always are" He whispered, rubbing his forehead "Good night Takashi" He chuckled, kissing his forehead before kissing his lips "Sleep well, I'll be here" He whispered, stepping away finally to get back to his desk. He'd keep an extra ear out for Shiro, just in case he has another nightmare. 

Shiro nodded, pulling the blankets up around him this time. His leg tangling up in the blankets this time. He was still restless, but it didn't seem as bad as before. 

Matt glanced back once before continuing to work on Shiro's arm, making sure to be as quiet as possible so Shiro could sleep. That, and he wanted to make sure if Shiro was having another nightmare, he'd be able to hear him immediately. 

Shiro slept peacefully except for a few restless tosses and turns. He still had some nightmare that was left over but it wasn't as severe as before since he woke up once. 

Matt turned every few seconds, unsure if he was having nightmares or just moving in his sleep. He bit his lip a little in anticipation before he slowly turned around to go back to work, still keeping an ear out, even if he was starting to feel tired 

He was doing pretty good until the early morning hours came around and he eventually started to squirm and shift around more. It was a lot more restless than the previous few hours. 

Matt, still being awake took a moment to recognize his turning. He set the arm down, turning to look at Shiro before carefully getting out of the chair, walking to the bedside before grabbing his cheek, shushing him "It's okay" He whispered, combing his fingers through his hair "I'm here Kashi" He mumbled, rubbing his forehead with his thumb 

It took him a moment, jumping a little as he felt the thumb on his forehead, eyes opening quickly before closing again. He was awake now though. "Nnh... Twice in one night?" 

He laughed softly, checking the time "It's almost six in the morning, not too bad" He whispered, leaning over to kiss his forehead "Besides.. I got you this time" he rubbed his eyes before sitting on the bed by his legs "I told you, I'm always gonna be there" 

"Have you even slept yet?" He hummed, reaching out to gently let his hand reach out to pat Matt. "Come here... I want to... I want to pull you close." 

He hummed a little, pushing his glasses up "Yes..?" He lied, smiling at him before laughing softly, crawling into the spot next to him, looking at him "Happy?" He whispered, reaching a hand forward to hold his cheek, his eyes already struggling to stay open 

"Matt... Did you actually sleep any?" He questioned, peeking up to him before reaching out to run a hand along his side and up his back. As he looked at him, he noted that he didn't really sleep any if at all. "Close your eyes. Rest." 

"Of course I did" He mumbled, rubbing under his glasses before pushing them up onto his forehead "I'm not that tired, besides, I'm almost.." He paused to yawn softly, leaning onto Shiro's chest "Done.. with your arm" He whispered 

Shiro reached up, plucking the glasses from his head. He leaned to carefully put them down before shifting around a little bit. "Alright.. I believe you, but now you need to rest." 

"Hey wait-" He mumbled, reaching up for his glasses, not making any effort to move or sit up though "I'm fine, really" He whispered, "Since when don't I stay up all night?" 

"Goodnight Matt." Shiro smiled a little. "I know you stay up often but you look exhausted, babe." 

He made a small noise of dejection, giving him a blurry glare before he softened, closing his eyes "Night, Kashi" he mumbled, breathing slowly before falling asleep almost immediately.

He shifted and tugged the blankets as he wrapped around Matt as well as himself, satisfied with how comfortable he had gotten. 

Matt smiled in his sleep, curling in on himself slightly, moving in his sleep. He turned to face Shiro, reaching for his shoulders before taking his head in his arms, pulling it close to his chest before settling back down.

Shiro moved as needed, smiling as he soon found his head tucked close against his chest. He closed his own eyes as his arms wrapped around his waist to keep him close. 

Matt slept peacefully, in the same position for a few hours when Katie poked her head into the door. She smiled a little, walking in further to see if either of them were awake, leaning over the bed "Shiro.. Matty?" She whispered.

Shiro poked her head up with a blink before smiling tiredly at Katie. "Hey. What's up Katie?" He smiled, keeping Matt close so he could talk to her. 

She smiled softly, looking at them "You two are sickeningly sweet" She mumbled before grinning "Mom is making breakfast.. lunch- brunch, Not important, do you want breakfast food or lunch food?" 

"Aah... Matt just went to bed too... Damn.." He pressed a sweet kiss to his boyfriend's shoulder. "Um... I think Lunch food sounds fun." 

She grinned, stepping into the room to look at the two of them "I'll tell mom" She whispered "So.." She paused to examine the room, looking at the desk "How long did you let him stay up?" She sighed, trying to stiffle a laugh.

"I can't force him to sleep." He rolled his eyes, shifting the blankets around. "I slept all night and had issues and he was awake both times I woke up " 

She smirked a little, leaning on the end of the bed "So.. He stayed up all night?" She asked "Typical" She muttered, walking around the bed to look over them "Mom has a rule set that you have to be up at least ten, and guess who started that rule" 

"I assume your mom did?" Shiro shifted, slowly trying to peel away from Matt without disturbing him. He could go to the bathroom and talk with Katie a little more. That would be fun. 

She laughed softly "Well she did, but the rule is set because of Matt. In high school, he would sleep all day and stay up all night and he'd sleep in school so Mom made the rule so he had to go to bed at night" She smiled, sticking her tongue out at her brother "How late would you usually stay up?" 

"What do you mean?" He tucked Matt back in with a little smile. He slowly stretched his arms above his head as he approached Katie. "In the military, high school, or recovery?"

She hummed a little, frowning "I meant in high school, yeah" She mumbled, looking away from Matt to look at Shiro "I'm gonna take a safe bet and say you went to sleep before twelve”

"Sometimes." Shiro grinned a little bit. "I used to be a little shit before my responsibilities kind if kicked in.

"Ohh?" She smirked, "So what did the straight-A-golden boy-Shirogane do that wasn't responsible?" 

"You can still be a straight a student and do so many bad things." He chuckled, peering around. "Let's head downstairs so Matt doesn't wake up to us talking." 

"Like what?" She mumbled, glancing at Matt "Aw, you care about him" She teased, going for the door "In all the years I've lived with him, he's the heaviest sleeper I know" 

Shiro started to follow her, smiling a bit. "Yeah. He can sleep heavy but just to be on the safe side..." He trailed off, opening the door for her 

She smiled "I think it's sweet" She whispered, walking out "But the funny thing is, touch him in the slightest bit and he's awake, so I'm really confused how you're able to cuddle him while he still sleeps" 

"Well, I think he was just really tired... I'm glad. He finally went to sleep." Shiro glanced back at Matt before stepping out. "Making me a new and better arm than this here..." He reached up, pulling and tugging the latches to get his arm off. 

"He's gone days without sleeping, didn't he stay up at the garrison?" She smiled, softly closing the door behind him "He's been up all night working on an arm for you? That's.. sickeningly sweet" She fake gagged before watching "So.. What exactly happened?" She whispered.

"I mean... You're honestly right but if you could've seen him trying to keep his eyes open so bad..." He shook his head, looking at Katie for a moment. "Last night? Nothing happened last night." 

She laughed as she walked down the stairs "Sounds about right" She grinned before looking up at him "No I meant.. Never mind. Come on, mom's probably wondering what to make”

"Oh. You meant..." He held his arm up slightly before sighing. "It.... Are you sure you even wanna hear? " 

"Yeah, but no" She shook her head "You don't have to tell me if it brings up bad memories. It's okay to keep it personal" She smiled 

"Ah. I get bad memories every time I go to sleep. Talking about it doesn't bother me none too much." He chuckled, looking at his arm. "Funny enough I lost it saving someone else... Well, trying to... I... I was holding pressure on their wound and things were going crazy... You know... War." He swallowed, mouth opening before closing. "I uh... My arm suffered a heavy crushing injury and so did the person I was trying to save. The enemy took me and kept me from bleeding out. Interrogating me... How I got a lot of the other stuff..." He shifted his weight. "It was intense, but I was rescued. Spent the past three months in recovery and now I'm here." 

She frowned, looking back up the stairs before putting a hand on his arm "I'm so sorry Shiro" She whispered "But you're here now and that's what matters.. Some of the pieces are gone and broken, but you got back here safely. And that's what's important" She smiled, hugging him once they got to the bottom of the stairs "Just.. don't tell Matt" 

"I know. I know." He chuckled, pausing at the hug, wrapping his arm around her carefully. "I uh... I'll try not to. I don't know what to tell him if he asks." 

She smiled, pulling away to look at him "You tell him you don't remember" She whispered, pulling away completely "If he finds out he's only going to blame himself" She sighed "But we're better off if he just doesn't ask" 

"Wait... I don't get that. How's he gonna blame himself?" He frowned a little, taking his arm to set it by the door with his shoes. 

She shook her head "Remember how he refused to let you leave for months? And then he finally let you. As soon as you left, he told me he regret it. He felt guilty for nearly a year.. Probably makes sense why he's making a new arm for you" She sighed.

Shiro frowned a little at the thought. He shifted his weight around, following Pidge through her house. "It's not like he could've stopped me. Really. I... I took this. This was my job and... My duty." 

She nodded as she walked into the kitchen, checking if her mom was gone before talking "And yet you promised him that if he said no you wouldn't go. And you didn't go until he let you.. Sure you might've wanted it, but he didn't. He said he only let you because it would've made you happy" 

"I shouldn't have told him about the fucking nightmares..." He murmured, running a hand over his face. Great. Just.... Great. 

She frowned as she climbed onto the kitchen counter, looking at him "It's okay.. I'm sure it'll all work out. You two get through pretty much everything, right?" She mumbled, frowning deeply. The last thing she wanted to see was the two split up right after they got to see each other again. 

"We do. We make it work." He smiled a little, pushing his hair back slightly. "He's my dork and I'm his big comfortable cuddling companion... I actually don't know if he has a cute pet name for me " 

She snorted, covering her mouth "Oh yes he does" She whispered, trying not to laugh "He has quite a few" She smirked 

"Wait really? What does he call me, Katie?" 

She giggled, leaning back a little "It's really not my place to say.. but I'm also the sister and so my favorite one is Kashi-Cakes" She grinned "I think another favorite one is when he'd get sad he would call you by your full name, and one time he accidentally called you Cashy" 

"Kashi-Cakes is so cute." He smiled before covering his face. He smiled fondly against his palm before sighing out. "I miss hearing him call me by my full name... When it's us.. it's just magical”

She watched him with a blank expression before making a gagging sound "You two really are something" She stuck her tongue out, mimicking her brother's voice, which was pretty close to it "Oh, Takashi, You've been gone for such a long time, how I've miiiissed you" She grimaced before making kissy noises.

Shiro slid his arm around Pidge to put her into a headlock with a devilish grin. "Oh yeah? Well, I missed you too you little dweeb!" 

She squealed, easily squirming out of his grip to laugh at him "You missed both of us" She smirked "Some more then others" She made a kissy noise again before giggling. She stopped when she heard footsteps coming from upstairs "Oops" She whispered.

Matt came in a few seconds, breathing heavy before seeing Shiro, letting out a small breath. He smiled and came in, looking at them "What are you two even doing?" He laughed.

Shiro paused, turning to look at Matt with a bit of a frown. "You shouldn't be up. You need to be resting. You stayed up all night." He approached, reaching up to push his hair back and then cup his cheek. 

His smile dropped to a blank stare, looking much like his sister's before he stuck his tongue out "I'm fine" he mumbled, pushing his hand away with a smile "You don't need to be such a mother" Matt laughed.

"You stayed up all night and could barely keep your eyes open." He scrunched his nose up. "You came down breathing heavy though, you alright?"  
He shrugged "The normal" He mumbled before looking up at him, his smile slowly dropping "..Yeah" He mumbled, looking down, holding his arm tightly "Just got scared a little, no big deal" 

"Was it because I had left the room?" He asked, genuinely concerned about Matt. Shiro shifted to step closer to him so he could pull him in for a hug. "Come here." 

"No" He lied, crossing his arms "..Maybe" He whispered, looking away from him before slightly relaxing into him "Okay, maybe I thought it was all some dream and you never came home.. but it doesn't matter" He mumbled, hugging him tightly as he buried his face.

"It's alright." He chuckled, hugging him just as tightly. He carefully rested his cheek on the top of his head before smoothing his hand along his back. "I'm here and I'm alive.”

He sighed softly, reaching up to rub his eyes, pushing his glasses up "That's.. oddly reassuring, but thank you" He smiled, pulling away a little to look up at him "Alright, but seriously, I'm fine, Promise" He smiled innocently up at him.

Shiro opened his mouth before closing it immediately after. "Let's go. Your mom wants to know what we want to eat." He turned to pull away, hand reaching to grab onto Matt's.  
He watched briefly before glancing away, smiling as he looked back "Oh! Pancakes!" 

"Pancakes aren't a lunch food, Matt" 

"Pancakes don't have a time to be eaten, Katie" Matt sneered, softly taking Shiro's hand in his, rubbing the thumb his knuckles.

"You both do kinda have a point." Shiro smiled at them both, lacing his fingers with Matt's. "Really, you do." He started to pull him towards the kitchen.

"Don't pick her side" Matt snorted, squeezing their hands softly "I've had pancakes at two in the morning before, so it breakfast or night food?" He smirked as he followed Shiro 

"Don't do this to my brain!" She shouted from the living room.

"I'm not picking her side! You both just have good points!" He chuckled, smiling a little bit as he leaned down to start kissing his head. 

He stuck his tongue out in a mocking tone "You both just have good points" He joked before smiling, reaching up to push his face away "No, I don't want your traitor kisses" He snorted.

"Oh come on now." He smirked a little before holding and keeping him close to his chest. "Come here you~" 

"Nope, filthy traitor" He smiled before laughing, trying to get out of his grip "No!" He muttered, trying to push his arm away before giving up, going limp in his grasp as he huffed.

He clung to him with his arm wrapped around him as tight as he could manage. "You can't escape from me!" 

He hummed, straightening himself out before getting one arm free "Is that a threat or a promise?" He muttered, trying to get his second hand free.

"It's a promise." He leaned down to start kissing his cheek, leaning back a little bit so he couldn't squirm out further. 

He smiled, putting a hand over his mouth as he failed to get free "Ugh, I hate that you're so much bigger than me" he pouted softly before giving in, turning to press a quick kiss to his lips 

Shiro smiled at the kiss, enjoying being able to just have fun and be with matt like they used to. Even if it'd never be the same due to some circumstances. 

Matt smiled as they pulled away, looking up at him before putting a hand on his cheek "You look very content" He whispered, tapping a finger on his temple "You look so relaxed and happy.. I love it" 

"I am... I'm home, I'm with the love of my life and I'm safe and loved... It's more than I could've ever asked for." 

He let go of his face, his own heating up a little "Kashi" He teased before grinning "I'm glad you're happy. Your smile is cute, but I do have one question.. Why us? I mean, you could've gone home to see your parents, but you came here instead. I'm not complaining, obviously. I just.. don't understand why you'd value us more than your own family" He mumbled, messing with Shiro's prosthetic thumb.

"My family is home in Japan and... I mean. Sure I got to see them every summer and the occasional holiday you guys... You've all seen me through so much stuff. And I love you so much." He furrowed his brows. "You guys are also my family if that makes sense?" 

He smiled widely, turning to his side to look up at him "I'm glad you chose us to come to though.. Going through everything and all" He shrugged "But I love you so much too, so much more" He grinned, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before smirking "Only if it's a wedding proposal" 

"Oh? A wedding proposal?" He grinned a little. "That was your job I thought."

He groaned a little, leaning onto him "But.. it's so much work like... getting on one knee.. and then standing up again. I can barely keep my eyes open, how am I gonna propose and attend the wedding day?" He sighed "Guess I'll have to die your boyfriend"

"You don't have to get down on one knee you know." He rolled his eyes, arms stretching above his head. 

He hummed slightly, finally stepping away from him "So hypothetically, I could ask you right now just standing here with no ring?" 

"Yeah. Honestly, Matt. You know that you don't need a ring? Rings are just kind of a whole marketing deal." 

"Well then.. Kashi" He smirked, looking up at him "Guess you'll have to wait until I ask then" he grinned "Or y'know.. ask yourself, but I bet you're just too coward to do it" 

"I'm not really too coward to do it, but I'd make it a bit dramatic if I did it." He grinned, leaning down to kiss his head. 

He grinned widely "Then I guess I'll have to wait for the day you do propose" he mumbled as he lifted his head after, reaching a hand for his neck to pull him into a soft kiss "But you know, you'd have to talk to my dad so. Good luck with that" He laughed before kissing him quickly, letting him go as his mom called him "I'll be right back" He whispered, walking to the door before turning back "Win him over with peas!" He whispered, slipping out of view.

He leaned down into the kiss, gently running his hand along his back for a moment. "Mmh. Yeah. I know. I'll do that when we get ready..." He paused as he walked off, blinking a little bit. "Win him with peas?" He snorted, shaking his head as he turned to go find Katie again. Then again, maybe he'd run into someone else. 

Matt sighed, shaking his head as he went down the hall 

Just as Matt left Katie came in through the other door, frowning "Dang it, dad wanted to talk to him" She sighed as she looked up at Shiro, Sam walking through the hall behind him "You look happy, early morning make-out?" She teased.

"Oh. Well, Mrs.Holt kinda called for him." He chuckled, reaching up to brush his hand through his hair. "Yeah, well... Kinda. It was more of us just talking about how much we're gonna marry one another one day maybe." He paused before blushing a bit. 

"Oh, then it's probably fine, dad she's talking to him" She called down the hall before looking back at Shiro, grinning "I'll be the flower girl and ring person, whatever it's called" She smirked "Aw, you're gonna look so cute in a tux and who's gonna wear white?" She snorted as she teased him "No but really, good luck with that" 

"Wait, what? I'm confused?" Shiro chuckled a little bit. "I uh... Is the talking to Matt a good thing? He's not in trouble is he?" 

"Both of them wanted to talk to him about something, how should I know? they won't tell me" She shrugged "Since mom is talking to him, I don’t think he would be, but if dad was he might" She smiled "No promises though" 

"Ahh... I hope it's not because of me. Really, I don't. I mean. They don't seem to mind the whole fact of us dating or anything but me kissing him like that yesterday might've been.... A bit much." 

She smirked a little "More than what you were just doing? I doubt it. They probably want something, but how should I know" She shrugged before smiling widely "Maybe mom wants grandkids, we'll never know" She smirked.

Matt came back in a few minutes, smiling as he put a hand on Shiro's elbow "Alright, I'm back, what'd I miss?" 

"Oh, kids is something that horrifies me I hope not." Shiro let out a nervous laugh. "I could probably go to the living room but Matt told me to wait here..." He furrowed his brows, pausing as Matt returned. "Not much, really. Everything okay?" 

"Aw, but I want nieces and nephews, I'm expecting them one day" She glared before shrugging "Disobey- I don’t ever listen to him, oh hey matt" 

"Yeah, it's all good?" He smiled, looking at him confused before looking at Katie, back at him and back at Katie "What'd you tell him?" 

"Good talk, bad talk with mom and dad gotta go" She laughed as she walked out the kitchen door "Don’t forget to find your passport" 

"Fuck, that's what I'm forgetting" He muttered.

"Wait... Your passport? You're going somewhere?" He blinked, looking down at Matt. Call him clingy, but he couldn't leave Matt right now. He just got home he just got him back. No. No no. 

"Matt?" 

"Yeah, mom heard us talking about me going with you to Japan" He smiled before looking up at him, frowning "What's wrong? I don't have to go, she just thought it'd be fun for me. It's okay, I won't go if you're freaked out about it"

Shiro let out a long sigh, slowly leaning to press his head against Matt's shoulder, his hand gripping his bicep. "I thought you were going somewhere and leaving me behind all of a sudden."

He jumped a little, putting a hand on his shoulder "Oh.." He mumbled before smiling, hugging him tightly around the neck "I would've told you that, I promise" He whispered, "And since when do I leave the house let alone the state- let alone the country?" He snorted before kissing his head, lifting his head up "You worry yourself too much, no wonder you have so much white hair"

"Yeah. I know I know. I just got scared okay?" He slid his arm around his waist, leaning against him some more. "Maybe I came home at a family trip or something... I don't know."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm not judging you for anything" He whispered, smiling at how close he was getting "No, you didn't, I promise" He laughed softly "Even if you did we'd probably take you with us" He whispered, messing with Shiro's hair, pulling it back as he separated some strands "I love you, and not to be mean, but what's got you so clingy lately? I'm usually the clingy one"

He toyed with the back of his shirt, hand falling to mess with the bottom of it before shifting around a little more. "Am I being too clingy? I... I just missed you a lot and I'm glad to be here. To be with you."

He blushed a little, his hand getting lower before hugging him tighter "No! I like it. I love it a lot.. I mean, I love you.. a lot.. too" He mumbled, setting his forehead on Shiro's shoulder "How am I able to have a boyfriend, but unable to flirt to save my life" He mumbled.

"You can flirt. It's the most clumsy flirt I've ever seen but I've seen you flirt." He chuckled, leaning to kiss his cheek. "Matt...?" He started, pulling away to stare at him.

He groaned before leaning up "No I'm just clumsy in general" He laughed before smiling up at him before looking at him curiously "..Ka-shi..?" He asked, smiling awkwardly "Yes?" 

"I know... I know you blame yourself somewhat for what's happened to me. I... It's one of the things Katie and I talked about you know?" He brought his hand up, slowly cupping Matt's cheek. "You fought to get me to stay and I almost did. But you let me go and I'm thankful I was able to go." 

His expression dropped as he let go of him, staring up at him with wide eyes. He swallowed before glancing away. Anything but Shiro's eyes. He pressed his lips together, looking down instead, clenching his jaw as he reached up to wipe tears from his eyes "..Why are you telling me this?" His voice cracked as rubbed his other eye, still looking away from Shiro.

"Because you're so happy. You're so damn happy, but I know it's eating you up. I've also been thinking about it since Katie brought it up... I... I want you to know it's okay. It's not your fault. I did what I did and this happened." 

He stayed quiet as he took a step back from him, staring at the ground "It's not fair" he mumbled, shaking his head "It wouldn't have happened if I just been more demanding" he shrugged "It's not your fault, it's mine. It's all mine. I let you go, I told you it was okay even though it was never okay with me" He cried "I just.. let it happen!" He reached up to rub his eyes again before taking his glasses off, folding them in his hands "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault.. It's all mine, and I'm such a shitty person for letting it happen" He rambled.

"Matt..." He reached out for him as he pulled away. He sighed, looking at his hand before he let his fingers flex. "I fought with you to go. I honestly felt like I was going to go regardless. I couldn't let this slip by. I was called to duty. There was essentially nothing you could really do when it came down to it legally." He reached out to let his hand grab his wrist. "I'm the one who wanted to go and help keep people safe. To fight for what was right now matter what. It's not your fault. It'll never be your fault."

He flinched when Shiro grabbed his wrist, making a tight fist, letting it go before shaking his head "I would've fought anyone to keep you home" He whispered, blinking away tears "I just. didn't try hard enough" He laughed softly, nodding his head "It might never be my fault, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to blame myself.."

He leaned forward, sliding his arm around him to pull him against his chest. "If you ever start blaming yourself let me know. I'll help you think down and relax from that. A no anxiety boyfriend zone." 

He jumped a little, taking a small step forward to lower his head "Thanks, Taka" he mumbled, reaching up to wipe his eyes again before snorting "That means you can't have it either so when you're anxious you have to come to me too. Promise?" He looked back up at him, cleaning his glasses before putting them on "If you promise, you get a free kiss" he teased, smiling widely for someone who was just crying.

He smiled a little bit although it hurt him to see him crying like that. It was probably best that was got out of the way though. He wouldn't tell him of the actions that happened while he was gone but he needed him to know blaming himself was wrong. "I promise. I'll do my very best. It may take me a moment but I'll come to you. " 

He grinned widely, looking up at him "That means I'm the first person you come to. Unless it's relationship advice, don't come to me if you're upset with me because then I'll be anxious and have to go to you, but I can't because you're the one causing it.." He chuckled awkwardly, glancing away "I thought it was funny" 

"That was kind of funny." He leaned to kiss him sweetly. "I'll do my best to be sure you're the first I come to unless a problem arises if I'm at a therapist or something." 

"I thought so" he shrugged, putting a finger up to Shiro's lips to stop the kiss "I didn't know you were taking therapy, but then again it's logical" he smiled softly "I'm glad you're taking sessions. I encourage you to keep going too"

"Hmm...?" He blinked, looking at him and offering a slight smile. "Yeah well... I mean I originally didn't want to but now it's a requirement or whatever." 

He smiled innocently as he took his hand away "What? Well, sucks for you because if it ever came up I'd make you do it" He smiled, wrapping his arms around Shiro's neck "It's good for you.. It'd help, or at least I think it does"

"It probably is I just don't like talking to someone I hardly know about my feelings or whatever."

"It is, I think it helps you" He pouted briefly before letting go of him "Really? I think it'd be easier since they don't know your life and can't judge you as easy. Not saying they judge you, but I personally think it's easier to spill everything, but that's just me" He shrugged, smiling up at Shiro.

"Yeah. I was going to say that my thoughts aren't as wonderful as yours and all." He chuckled, looking down for a moment. "I just don't like talking about what's bothering me, in general, most times. I do and take care of everyone else. I don't really matter." 

"I wouldn't think so" He mumbled, watching him before jumping when he looked back up "Wait, stop" He frowned, moving his hands to Shiro's cheeks, glaring into his eyes "Do you really think you don't matter..?" He whispered, his lip quivering slightly as he searched his eyes for any sign of him joking "Don't.. Don't talk like that" He mumbled, taking his hands away to cross his arms, looking away from him "Don't ever say that again"

"In a sense, I really don't. My priority is with others and not myself." Shiro frowned at that. "I didn't mean to make you sadder you know...?"

"I know, but that doesn't mean you can just go and say you don't matter" He whispered, turning his body away from him "You matter to me. You're never not going to matter to me.. I don't know" He mumbled, looking back to smile at him "Just forget it" He laughed softly.

"I know what you mean. And I understand why you're probably upset with me now." He noticed how he turned away and brushed it all off with a smile. "Matt. If this bothers us we need to talk about it."

"No, Shiro, I'm not upset with you. I'm just a little sad that you.. don't think you matter like I think you do" He shrugged before sighing softly "No, I mean, if it bothers you we can talk, but I'm fine. Really. It's all okay with me, I promise" 

"I trust in you, Matt. I trust you to tell me the truth where it's needed." He offered him a soft smiled. "I'll never see myself through the same way you see me and the same may fall for you. It's... Hard but we can work it out. It also might be rough since we've been separated you know." 

"That's nice, but I am telling the truth" He grinned proudly, crossing his arms stubbornly "I know, and that's okay! We have some issues here and there, but none are too major that we can't fix. And I'm not going to leave you just because we can't solve an issue. I mean.. You wouldn't do that either, right?" He frowned "You'd at least try and work it all out, right?"

"I may need to walk away from an issue to regain myself if I'm overwhelmed but I would always want to work it out " He reached up to mess with Matt's hair. 

He smiled softly, nodding slightly "I appreciate your dedication" He whispered, pushing his glasses up "It's not every day you actually find a nice person to date that loves you for who you are and understands your anxiety and nerves. It's nice to know you do" He grinned shyly before sighing as his dad called.

"I do my best.." He offered him a smile. Hearing his father call, he leaned down to kiss his cheek. "I'm going to go get something to eat. I'll be waiting on you." 

He groaned as he pushed up his glasses again, straightening his back "Help yourself to anything, My mom and I usually make everything though so it's a fifty-fifty on how good something is" He smiled, leaning up to kiss his cheek before walking out of the room  
He smiled a little, turning to head towards the kitchen. Shiro gladly accepted the food that Matt's mom prepared, sitting down to eat it eagerly. 

Matt quickly came back into the living room before glancing into the kitchen, running in, stopping by him, completely breathless. He pressed a quick kiss to Shiro's cheek before hugging him tightly and leaving again quickly, running up the stairs as Pidge followed him, yelling after him as they both ran.

Shiro paused with a forkful of food in his mouth. He cleared his throat, soon finishing his food so he could investigate. He put the dishes away into the sink before jogging upstairs to see if the siblings had killed one another.

"Dad said you can't!" Katie screamed, sounding upset 

"Yeah well, mom said I can!" 

"You can't just leave!" 

"Watch me!" Matt laughed, running out of his room with the passport, Pidge following behind him quickly only to tackle him, landing them both at Shiro's feet "Oh, Hi Kashi" Matt breathed, holding the passport out of Pidge's grasp.

"Dad said-" 

"Dad said you couldn't stay home all summer and you still did" Matt whispered, swatting her hand away.

Shiro reached out to grab the passport, holding it up. "Whoa whoa, slow down. Alright. One at a time. Pidge, you first. Start talking." 

Katie quickly sat up, rolling off of Matt to sit on the floor "Mom heard you talking about taking Matt to Japan with you and then she told Dad, so when mom wanted to talk to Matt she said it was okay so I told Dad-" 

"Like a brat"

"Shut up- I told Dad that Matt was going to leave and dad talked to him and told him no! So he can't leave!" 

"Yes I can, and first of all, it's not even decided yet" 

"Dad still said you can't go!" 

"Didn't dad say you couldn't go over to-" 

"Yes I went anyways but that's, not the point!" Pidge pouted.

"Woah. Woah! Calm down. Both of you. Explain to me everything. Why did he say Matt couldn't go, also what did your mom say on the whole situation?" 

"Mom says it'd be a good experience and knows how much I missed you" Matt smiled softly.

"And dad said no because he's never left the country without another family member!" Pidge interjected.

"But he said he trusted Shiro-" 

"He also said no!" 

"He said yes as long as I'm always with Shiro-" 

"Well, I don’t want you to go!" 

"Why- You never want anything to do with me!" 

"Because you're my brother! Shiro, tell him he needs to stay!" She whined 

"Hey, don't tell my boyfriend what to do!"

"Okay. Okay. Both of you. Just... Stop. Matt is twenty-one, right? I didn't somehow miss a couple of years?" He glanced at the passport. "They can't force Matt to do anything. He's a grown adult, but I don't want your parents mad at me thinking I coaxed him to disobey what they want. Especially your dad."

"Yeah, I am" He smiled, looking at Katie before taking the passport from Shiro "They aren't going to be mad no matter what, even if they are, it's my decision" He shrugged, grinning "And I'm excited to go if we do" 

"Fine" She pouted stubbornly.

"Aw, is someone upset" Matt teased, hugging her "Is someone worried about her brother?" He cooed.

She laughed, pushing him away "Yeah right, I'm just gonna miss you" She rolled her eyes, looking at Shiro "And you too.."

Shiro crossed his arms before running a hand over the back of his neck. "Regardless you still live under their roof so I just don't want to step on toes especially if I'm gonna marry you at some point." He chuckled, crossing his arms. 

He laughed softly before stiffening, letting go of Pidge "Wait, you were serious about that?!" He gaped.

"Oh my god you're still a dumbass" She whispered before sighing "I'm gonna go see what mom and dad said" She mumbled as she walked down the stairs.

"I didn't think you'd like.. actually do it" He chuckled softly, as his face turned red, looking away from him, messing with the pages of his passport "Jeez.." 

"When am I ever not serious about anything I say involving our relationship?" He raised a brow, smiling as Matt seemed to get all flustered. "Let me go grab my arm I want to hold you with both of them."

"I don't know, like.. I just didn't think you were being serious?" He mumbled before nearly screaming "Oh my god I hate you!" He laughed, rubbing his cheek like he always did when he was embarrassed. He smiled anyway, walking into the room "I forgot to mention while you were asleep, I was making your arm 3D and uh, yeah" He laughed, walking over to his desk.

He watched him, smiling as he admired how he looked. "Yeah? Well, that's going to be something isn't it?" He leaned against the door frame before sighing out. "Don't overwork yourself alright? Also around the next few hours, I'm gonna head home for a bit and try to be back before dinner." 

"One day, maybe" He shrugged, rubbing the metal on his arm before rolling his eyes, giving Shiro a scowl "Overwork my ass" He muttered, walking to the door frame, lifting Shiro's right arm "You should take me with you! Please?" He begged, pouting a little after a few seconds.

"Are you sure you want to go? My place has been vaguely empty for like a couple of years..." He looked at him before leaning down to kiss his head. "Alright. Alright. Maybe you should stay at my place for the night, hm?" 

"Of course I would. I'd go anywhere with you at this point. I can even clean your place" He snorted, smiling softly before glancing up at him, lifting the arm to tighten it around his bicep. "Uh.. I don't know" He mumbled, not really focusing "Tell me when it gets too tight" he whispered before slowly tightening it "I'm just saying we've never stayed over at each other's place.. alone- I mean, don't you think it'd be a little awkward?"

He nodded, letting him shift around and tighten the arm. "I don't think it'd get awkward, but if you feel that way then we don't have to." He smiled a little bit before biting his lip. "Alright. That's tight."

"No, I wanna go, I just thought.. I don't know, it's adult-ish?" He mumbled "I haven't exactly mastered being an adult" he mumbled, stopping to untighten it just barely before taking his forearm in his hand to pull on it slightly, keeping it in place before letting it go "Spending the night with no one else but just you does sound really nice though" he smiled softly before it dropped "Just no funny business" He mumbled.

"You know I'm not into anything sexual. I'd rather just hold you close and kiss you a whole lot but nothing more than just that." He rolled his eyes as he reached up to push Matt's hair away from his face.

"I know, I was joking" He laughed softly as his face heated up, staring blankly down at Shiro's arm, holding the wrist tightly before letting go of it quickly "I hate how you can do this to me" He muttered, taking a breath "I'm gonna.. find my screwdrivers and special chip" he mumbled, walking back to his desk to sit down, searching through the draws.

"Do I need to stay here or should I just sit down to make it easier?" He smiled as he looked the prosthetic over slowly. "It's certainly something interesting..."

"Oh it doesn't really matter, but I guess sitting so you can keep your arm still would make it easier" He mumbled taking out a small blue case and a small screwdriver, sitting on his bed, patting the spot next to him "Well, uh thank you" He chuckled awkwardly, holding the case tightly in his palm "I tried.." he shrugged.

Shiro carefully walked over to sit beside him. "I mean... I don't know anything about building this so I don't know how to compliment it. I love it regardless because my boyfriend is making it." 

He blushed a little, taking his arm to unscrew a small hatch, lifting Shiro's other hand to put the screws in his palm "You're just a suck up" he whispered, taking the grid off to look inside before looking around, holding his hand still as he got up and ran back to his desk, coming back with tweezers to sit down "It doesn't have to do with building, I just didn't wanna stand" He smiled, taking the chip in the tweezers, hovering it over his arm "This.. Might hurt for a second.. kind of like uh.. small shock- I don't think it'll be anything big" he mumbled, glancing back at his arm.

"Only a little." He teased as he shifted to hold his hand out for a long amount of time. "A little shock? Go for it. Not the worst thing I've felt." He offered him a grin before turning his head away. "Ready whenever you are." 

"Alright, just.. try not to jolt away too much" He mumbled, looking at Shiro before leaning forward to kiss him, looking back to his arm as he held his hand tightly, carefully putting the chip in as a small shot of electricity jumped over the metal pieces.

Shiro shivered as he felt the jolt of electricity. He didn't really react too strong seeing as he had felt worse over the past few years. "That it?" 

He watched him with caution as he took the grid back onto his arm, taking the screws from his hand with a wide smile "If this works, then yes" he whispered excitedly, finishing up the screws as he rubbed a hand over the grid, looking up at Shiro "Alright... try um. Here, feel my hand" He whispered, biting his lip as he stuck out his hand. If it worked like Matt planned Shiro would be able to feel the warmth in his hand, along with the texture. Matt took a deep breath, staring up at Shiro as he nodded quickly, smiling widely.

Shiro looked at him, of course, he took a few moments to get used to the feeling of moving this arm compared to his other one. Slowly, he reached out and let his fingers grace over his hand. A shiver came from him as he could actually feel his hand. 

He grinned, looking up at Shiro before frowning "..It doesn't work, does it?" He sighed, slowly taking his hand away "I'm sorry, Shiro" he whispered before smiling bitterly "Maybe I can try again"

Shiro reached out, grabbing onto his wrist. "Wait. Wait. Hey. It works. I'm just... Amazed." He commented as his hand slowly move up his arm. "I can feel again using that arm.' 

He looked up, completely excited "Oh my god" He nearly shouted, covering his mouth with his free hand before pulling it away "That's- That's amazing! I'm happy for you, wait what am I saying- I did it" He whispered "..I did it" he whispered again "This is the fourth best day of my life!" He laughed, hugging Shiro's neck tightly.

Shiro couldn't help but laugh, leaning back a little as both hands wrapped around his body. He kept him close to his chest, hands smoothing up along his back. "I love you so much. I'm so proud, thank you for this!”

"I love you too" He whispered softly, rubbing the back of Shiro's head before pulling away to hold his face, kissing him gently "It was my honor" He teased before kissing him quickly again "Oh, pht- Of course! I'd- .. I'd do almost anything for you" He snorted, pressing another kiss to his cheek.

Shiro let these quick soft kisses happen with a laugh. He shifted his weight around as he was now leaning away from Matt just a bit. "I love it when you're happy. You're so affectionate and hyper." 

"Tsk" He smiled against Shiro's neck, leaning up to kiss his cheek again "You're so embarrassing" He teased "Pointing out all the things I do" He mumbled, leaning forward on him to kiss him "I can't help it If I get excited.. Especially over something big like this! I mean-" He moved to straddle Shiro's waist, looking up at him "I'm the first person at the lab to be able to make something like this.. If I share it with others we.. We could be life changers!" He grinned "Just, think of the possibilities!"

"I know. I know. It's amazing." He smiled, leaning into the soft kisses. "It is fantastic to think about now that you mention it. Changing so many lives. Look at you." He pressed multiple kisses along his cheek before looking at his new arm. 

He smiled, hugging his neck tightly as he pressed another kiss to his cheek before letting him go to lean on his shoulder, watching him move his arm around. "Us, Kashi... Look at us" He whispered, reaching his arm out to rub Shiro's lower bicep, closing his eyes as his hand fell to his side.

"Us... I like the sound of that way better." He smiled as he leaned so Matt could relax easier. His arm moved along, fingers flexing and his hand doing it's best to act human as it could. 

"I've always liked the sound of it" He mumbled sleepily before yawning, reaching up to rub his eyes, slowly opening them to stare at his hand "I'll try to add more.. turns and bends if you need" He mumbled as he sat up.

"I think it's fine the way it is..." He trailed off, noticing how tired he was. "How about you just get some rest, hm?" 

"No no, It's fine" He mumbled, smiling sleepily as he looked down at him "I'm fine, All I need to do is add another.. motor for the digits and maybe update the sensors in the sockets so they pick up myoelectric signals from the arms muscle, that'd be the Thenar and Hypothenar muscles" He whispered, giggling "to make full range of movements" he grinned before chuckling "It's kind of just a prototype for now.." He shrugged.

"Well, I love it and I think you've done a wonderful job." He smiled as he pressed a couple more kisses to his head, not understanding a single word that he was saying "Regardless. You need sleep, you've been up all night and pushing your body like this will only hurt it." 

"Thank you" Matt slurred after a second of thinking before smiling, leaning back on him "No, I'm fine" He chuckled softly, kissing Shiro for a long second before sitting up again "It's normal, and besides, I like working on your arm" He smiled, moving his leg to crawl off of Shiro's lap.

"Alright. Alright, fine." He watched him before giving his head a slight shake. "You want to take this off or?" 

He laughed softly, humming a little as he sat down, looking for his screwdrivers again "You don't have to, but you might be able to feel the pain, but you also won't be able to know if it's working or not so I might have to take your chip out so you don't feel the pain or cutting off your finger or cutting it open" He mumbled, sighing softly as he laid his head down on the desk, looking for his screwdrivers.

"I'll wear it the rest of the day to see how it works, how about that?" He smiled at him, looking the arm over and touching it himself. "I would never mess with what you did but I just had some horrible horrible thoughts."

"That seems perfect, you might just not be used to it" he mumbled tiredly, cuddling up to his arms on the desk as he closed his eyes, taking a few minutes to reply "Oh yeah..? And.. what's that?"

"I-" He paused before frowning a little and shaking his head. "Nevermind. That's not something we need to talk about at the moment actually." 

"Oh.. okay" Matt mumbled, half ignoring him as he slowly drifted before sitting up quickly, shaking his head a little "No, uh" He cleared his throat, looking at his desk before walking back to the bed, finding them on his bedside table "Tell me" He smiled innocently, looking at Shiro "Pleeeeease?"

Shiro kind if smiled, thinking about moving him to his bed after he actually fell asleep. Although, seeing him suddenly jolt awake gave him a scare. "Huh? Oh. It's fine it's fine." He shrugged slightly. 

He frowned, looking at him as he crawled onto the bed, leaning into his personal space "Tell me.." He pouted "Tell me, pleeeeeeeeeease" He smiled "I'll do anything you want. And I do mean anything this time" He smiled widely "Now tell meee" He whined, looking up at Shiro, leaning in a little more before quickly kissing him, backing up quickly.

Shiro felt a little reluctant in talking about it, letting out a soft sigh. "Alright well, look...You can't be mad with what I'm about to tell you because it just sounds so horrible." 

He looked at him a little confused before laughing softly "I could never be mad at you" he smiled "It can't be that bad, just tell me"

"Well, I was thinking that if you wanted to test the pain I could stab my hand but that's bad and destructive."

He blinked quickly, looking at him as if seeing if he were serious "It'll-" He laughed a little "It'll feel like you're getting stabbed just the same way in your other hand!" He gaped, slightly confused "Please don't destroy your hand" He sighed, smiling up at him "Don't do anything stupid" He whispered, chuckling briefly as he went back to his desk "Now all's that left to find is the dovetail cap to help move your wrist smoother" He mumbled, searching around in his draws.

"Yeah. I know I'd never really destroy what you worked so hard for." He sighed out, looking down at the hand before shifting around. "I'd also never do anything so self-destructive. I think my therapist would kill me." He laughed at the thought.

He laughed, shaking his head "I wouldn't consider it as.. working hard more of.." He paused in the middle of closing a draw "I don't know" He shrugged, closing it all the way as he leaned up "I just don't want you hurting yourself" Matt whispered before finding the metal piece under some pieces of paper, immediately taking it to work on.

"I never would hurt myself intentionally. I do it enough on accident." He frowned at the thought before moving to fall back onto the bed.

"I believe you, I'm just the same way when it comes to being clumsy" He mumbled, looking at the piece before putting it down, leaning on the desk "That's how I got this scratch on my face" He laughed a little, crossing his arms as he lazily messed with the piece of metal.

He grinned a little, reaching up to touch the own scar across his nose. "Well, now we kinda match huh?" He raised a brow, shifting his weight around. 

He laughed softly "I was gonna put a mask on for safety but I kind of just didn’t care so I might've.. blown up some metal while working on it and it went.. everywhere" he laughed tiredly "It was funny until my mom came in screaming"

"Woah wait what?" He sat up and narrowed his eyes at him. "Are you being serious? That could've killed you, Matt." 

Matt laughed softly as he took his glasses off to rub his eyes "Then you do not want to hear about the time I nearly electrocuted myself" he grinned.

"Oh my god." He groaned, reaching up to run his hand along his face. "Please be more careful? Alright? You are not dying before me."

He snorted as he sat up, leaning on the back of his chair, turning around to smile at him "You never know" He mumbled, smiling softly "I did accidentally blow up one of my mom's knives.. she wasn’t too happy" he whispered "I took a small chunk out of it" He nodded slowly. 

"Matthew. I'm being serious." Shiro pushed himself up. "I know what you do can be dangerous but come on..."

His smile dropped as he shrugged, putting his glasses back on "Why does it matter?" He whispered "After you just- I.. I don't know. Never mind" He mumbled, standing up from his chair "Forget it"

"After I what?" He watched him stand up. "You can't just leave it off like that... After I what, Matt?"

"It doesn't matter" He laughed softly, walking back to the bed to sit next to him, finding the screwdriver he used last time "Let's just adjust your hand" He smiled.

"You're doing that thing where you're really not talking to me about things." He frowned a little bit, holding his arm out to him.

He smiled as he unscrewed his arm, taking the small chip out as he moved to Shiro's hand, messing with where the pieces connect "I don't know what you're talking about" He mumbled, teasing him.

"Matthew Holt. Don't start doing this. I want to know what you were going to say and I want to know what I was doing."

He jumped a little, tightening his grasp as he slid in the metal plate, watching it before it clicked into place. He stared at his hand for a second before grabbing the chip again "Careful of the shock" He whispered, pushing it down as he grabbed grid again, putting it over Shiro's arm to put it back on him.

"You're ignoring me now. What happened to talking it out?" He commented softly.

He frowned, letting go of his hand as he picked the small screwdriver kit up "..Not something like this, okay?" He looked up to smile at him before leaning forward to kiss his cheek, taking his hand in his own "I love you, and that's all you have to know" He grinned, kissing his cheek again before standing up, letting go of his hand.

"Do you not trust me to talk about it...?" He spoke up after a few moments, slowly letting his hand flex. He sighed, looking it over and looking up at Matt. "I'm trying. You asked me to try, and you're not trying back."

"Of course I do!" He smiled, kissing his head before walking back to his desk, stopping in the middle of the room as he tensed "I am trying" He said after a pause "I am trying.. so hard, but sometimes people just don't want to talk about mental illnesses and suicide, Shiro!" he snapped, raising his voice before letting his shoulders relax "..I'm sorry" He mumbled, standing for a long second before continuing to walk, slowly putting the screwdrivers back on his desk without turning around "I'm sorry" He whispered, staring down at his desk.

Shiro reeled back a bit, before slowly standing. He let out a slow sigh as he shifted around to get up. "Hey... You don't have to be sorry." He approached. "Can I touch you? Can I hug you?"

He blinked a few times before shaking his head slowly "Uh.. I, I don't care" He mumbled, looking up at his mall "It doesn't matter to me" He shrugged, crossing his arms nervously.

Shiro slid his arm around his waist, pulling him close. "Come on... Talking about it is going to help... Maybe... Maybe you need the therapist or... Something, I don't know..." He pressed his head against his shoulder. "Matt... I love you."

He frowned, lowering his head so his bangs hid his face "No- there's.. No, I don't need a therapist. It was only because you were gone. That was it" he mumbled, looking away from him, opposite shoulder of the one his head was on.

"It's hard to talk about it I know, but Matt. Keeping it inside for slip-ups and outbursts like that aren't good... Katie told me somewhat about you when I was gone... I want you to fill me in on the rest."

"I'm doing fine, though" He muttered, looking at the ceiling before looking back at him finally "Yeah well Katie was wrong" He smiled "I'm fine and that's all there is to it," He said cheerfully before turning stubbornly away from him again.

"Wait wait." He kept his arm around him tightly, not bothering with the prosthetic one. "Matt. If we have to have this conversation, you're not fine."

He bent his leg a little, messing with his feet "Whaaaat?" he laughed, leaning his head back to look at him "Alright, all righteous and never wrong Shiro. Why am I not fine then?" he smiled, "You tell me"

"You're holding it in and it's going to boil up like it just did when you snapped not even two minutes ago."

He pressed his lips together before rolling his head back up, sighing "..To be fair it was actually about three minutes" He grinned before frowning "And to be even fairer you kept pushing it... So I think I'm in the right here"

"I'm not saying you're really in a wrong other than you're all bottled up. It shouldn't have to come to me pushing for you to tell me." 

He bit his lip a little before he sighed, letting himself relax into Shiro's arms "Alright.. well. When you first left I worried.. I didn't sleep much, I thought too much about the bad and hoped nothing would happen. A while in I missed you, regret letting you go. Wished I never let you go.. After nearly a year I cried a lot. I never knew when you were coming back" He shifted onto his other foot, thinking "I started working.. non-stop. I worked until I fell asleep. I started becoming.. careless. More and more careless with safety, wishing maybe one time. Something would happen, and maybe that time.. I don't know. I might just die. I don't know!" He shrugged "I eventually.. gave up. I stopped eating right, I stopped working a lot because I was always tired and stayed up too late and I just slept all day.. And that's when Katie took control of my life" He whispered "..She'd get me up. She'd suggest things and when I turned her down she forced me to get out. We had a heart to heart talk a few months ago and after that, I've been the same happy cheerful me as always. I made new friends, showered more, slept ... right- ish.. " he mumbled "She really turned my life around" He whispered, looking at the picture of them on his desk slowly smiling.

"I'm so so sorry that you got that bad and I wasn't here, but I'm for keeping you in check." He smiled, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "She's a good sister, and as annoying as she may seem you need to hold onto that... A good sibling is rare... "

"Doesn't matter" He shrugged, smiling at him "Believe me, I know" He whispered, staring at Shiro for a long second before turning his head back to his desk, slowly closing his eyes.

He slowly started to sway with him. "I swear to the highest of heavens I'm never leaving you again, alright? Death herself will be prying me from you and even then I'll kick her ass."

He opened his eyes quickly to turn his head, looking at him, confused and slightly terrified "..I was just thinking about whether I should sleep or not, what the actual fuck?!" He laughed, covering his mouth "That's.. very sweet and very strange" he mumbled, shaking his head "I picked a weird one" He sighed.

"Oh come on. You should've known that from high school." He leaned to kiss up his neck to press a long loving kiss to his cheek. "Can you get this arm off of me? I like being able to feel again but I'm starting to have anxiety about it now all of a sudden."

He laughed softly, raising his shoulders and leaning away from him "Nooo, it tickles" He whispered before frowning at him "Why? I mean- sure" He mumbled as he pushed his hands away to turn around, standing on his toes as he messed with the tightening adjustments, slowly getting it off as he set it on the desk "There" He mumbled, leaning on his desk, propping himself up on his hands "Better?" he smiled

"I love it. I do. It feels amazing that I can feel with that but I already gotten used to not feeling with my other arm on top of the phantom pain that hands around sometimes, you know?" He chuckled. "I'm sure I'll get to wearing it more and more."

He nodded, smiling up at him as he moved to sit on the desk "Yeah, I understand what you mean. Hey, to be fair, it just gives me another chance to work on it instead of sleep!" He grinned, shrugging "Thanks, Kashi"

“You are not staying up all night working on that arm. I still gotta go to my place and if you are gonna come with you can’t bring anything to work on that’ll keep you up all night.”

He stared at him in shock before tilting his head back to whine like a child before pouting at him "But.. I love you" He mumbled, "Don't you love me?"

He pulled away from him, sitting on the bed again with one leg crossing over the other. “I love you with all my heart. Which is why I’m gonna make sure you sleep well.” 

He whined as he climbed off the desk, making his way to stand in front of Shiro, pouting like a small child "I already slept like three hours which is actually pretty long considering my schedule.

“Okay think of it this way. This is you and me spending quality intimate time together. Like a date but not a date?” He furrowed his brows as he felt that made no sense at all.  
He paused to stare at him, incredibly confused "..Like right now or when we get to your place?" He mumbled, "Where are you going with this anyway?" 

“When we get to my place. I need to go home, water plants get some of my better clothes and ya know. Home stuff.” He raised a brow. “What do you mean where am I going with this?” 

"Honey, I'm pretty sure your plants are all dead" He mumbled before shrugging "I don't know! Is that a trick question? You said 'think of it this way' after I said I already slept and I don't know! Where were you going with that?" He snorted.

“I figured if you thought of it as a date it might make you not wanna work on stuff. Also, they may or may not be. I had a couple succulents and I know my neighbor watered them for at least a year and a half. Or should’ve.” 

He hummed before shaking his head "Nope! Not really" He grinned "Now, taking me out on your roof to stare at stars.. Hm, might be a different story" He smiled before sitting on the bed next to him, leaning on his arm "I highly doubt they remembered every day.." 

“I never watered them every day. Only like every month... those things really live for a while without water.” He chuckled, softly. 

He nodded, humming a little before sitting up to throw his leg over Shiro's lap, straddling him "You're really awkward and bad at small talk" he deadpanned, staring at him "Oh and by the way, it's healthier to water them every week instead of every month" He smiled.

“Well, now that I’m home I can do that.” He rolled his eyes, arm sliding around Matt’s waist. “You still wanna spend the night at my place right?” 

"Yeah, you can- every week" He smiled softly before humming "I'm not sure, I wanna go just for big Shiro hoodies, but I don't need you waking up first to my bed head" 

“Are you really self-conscious of your bed head?” Shirt raised a brow before humming. “Who says I’m gonna wake up first, either?” 

He frowned a little, leaning back slightly "Yeah.. It's a mess and if you dare look I'm throwing something heavy at you" He muttered before shrugging "I'm just saying.. I sleep in a lot.." He smiled "Like.. really late" He laughed.

“Oh come on. I love your bed head. You’re acting like I’ve never really seen you with bed head before when I think you’re forgetting we’ve been boyfriends for years now.” 

He blushed a little, smacking his arm "Shut up" He whispered, rolling his eyes "Fine, I warned you though" he whispered "And I know you have a harry potter book in the nightstand drawer- don't think I know how heavy those are" 

Shirt chuckled, pressing multiple kisses to his head before he peppered his cheek with them as well. “Oh come on. You wouldn’t beat me with a book. That’s a bit rude.” 

He hummed, enduring the kisses before turning his head, putting a hand over Shiro's mouth "I've beaten you with a textbook from school before!" He laughed, taking his hand away "Not to mention I've punched you countless times" 

“Okay. Don’t beat me with literature. How’s that? I could care less about a textbook but I like Harry Potter books.” He murmured against his hand. 

He laughed softly, running a hand over his shoulder "How about.. if you look at me or watch me while I'm sleeping and I find out.. I'll have to beat you with a pillow, but if I don’t then.. feel free to take a picture or wake me up with kisses, no harm done if I don’t know" he smiled, rubbing his thumb over Shiro's collarbone.

“Wouldn’t taking a picture be watching you in your sleep?” He raised a brow before tilting his head. In all honesty, he felt so relaxed. Really. Shiro was so glad to be home and be with the man he loved. 

"Well.." He tilted his head a little as he looked at Shiro's hair, reaching up to run his fingers through it gently "Yeah, but I mean- Am I gonna find out? No. If you were sleeping really messily, thrown all around the bed would I take a picture? Yes- No question about it" He chuckled, looking into Shiro's eyes "I don't care, Kashi, do what you want" 

“I’ll just be safe and cuddle you close and just let you sleep if I wake up before you. I don’t wanna be hit at all really. I’m kinda done with pain for a bit.” He snorted a little. 

He frowned after a minute, moving his hands to sit in his lap "Sorry. You know I wouldn't do that.." He mumbled before sighing, rubbing his face "Never mind, just- I'm sorry" He mumbled, pushing away from his chest as he crawled off his lap, putting a good few inches between them.

He paused, raising his brow a little bit. “You did bring up how you’ve hit me before so why would I think you wouldn’t. I mean it wasn’t really abusive but you do pack a punch for a little guy sometimes.” He watched him distance himself and frowned. 

He sighed as he stood up, rubbing his head intensely "I'm sorry, I fucked up, I get it" He mumbled as he walked for the door "I feel bad, okay? Are you happy?" He muttered, feeling the tears well up behind his eyes as he walked.

“Wait, what?” He got up to follow after him, his brows furrowed a bit. “Hey, hey. I thought we were fine. Matt? What did I do wrong? I’m genuinely confused.” 

"I don't know!" He let go of his head, turning to walk around Shiro, back into the room as he paced near him "I just- suddenly felt bad! I felt the need to apologize, I- .. I don't know!" He cried, letting himself cry as he gripped his hair "I'm confused too- I wanna know what's happening too and it sucks I don't even know and it sucks when you can't even explain it" 

“Woah, Okay. Okay. Calm down.” He reached out to grab one of his hands. “Come sit down on the bed, alright?” Shirt thought that getting him to calm down would be much better than him getting himself all hyped up and upset even more. 

He took a breath, flinching and stiffening before letting Shiro have his hand as the other went to rub his eye "I'm sorry" He whispered, crying a little harder as he followed Shiro back to his bed "I wish I could tell you what happened.." He mumbled.

“Don’t even worry about it. Sometimes you just get these moments where you get sad, anxious, or you just want to cry for thirty minutes and struggle to recover even while you have great support.” He carefully moved him to sit down before kneeling down in front of him. 

He frowned, bringing one leg up to fold under his other "But.." He paused, rubbing his eyes "I don't feel upset anymore.." He mumbled, reaching down for Shiro's hand to mess with "I just.. wanted to cry and that was it?" He laughed, holding onto Shiro's hand tightly as he rubbed his eyes.

"Sometimes that’s all you need to do.” He smiled, holding onto his hand lovingly before peppering his knuckles with kisses. “Feel better.” 

His hand twitched, squeezing his hand again "..Yeah. Even if I don't know what caused it, I do feel better" He grinned, rubbing his other eye "Thank you" 

"Sometimes you just need a good cry is all." He chuckled softly, pressing a few kisses to his head. 

He nodded softly "I think what I need is a long nap" he smiled, pulling him in for a gentle hug "When are you planning on going to your place?" 

"A long nap is considered sleeping you know." He snorted slightly before leaning against him. "Uhhh... In an hour or so." 

"Oh, no, I don't sleep" He smiled "I die temporarily" He whispered, letting himself relax against Shiro "Nice.. nice.. Can I sleep in the car?" He whispered, muffled against Shiro's chest  
"Uh... Sure." He blinked. "It's not that far, maybe 30 or 45 minutes..." He shrugged a little, kissing his head. 

"I wish I could die for real some days" he laughed softly, leaning away from him to hum "Perfect, that's about the amount of sleep I'm usually getting" 

"Mmh. I've had that feeling sometimes..." He smiled, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "Would it be alright if I grabbed a shower here before we went?" 

"Well that sucks" He frowned before smiling widely, pushing his hand away "Go for it, I'll either be sleeping or talking with the family or.." He paused glancing at Shiro's arm on his desk before looking back at him with a smile.

“Don’t you dare work on that arm while I’m the shower” Shiro scowled as he stood up, drawing his hand from Matt’s hair.

“Well see about that” Matt smirked as he lightly pushed on Shiro’s arm to stand up, making his way to his desk. He smiled and took a seat to continue working on his arm.

“You’re such a brat” Shiro muttered as he picked out some clothes Matt had kept over the years. He swiftly exited and made his way to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Once he was done and drying his hair as he walked back in, he smiled at Matt at his desk. He let the towel fall around his neck as he hugged Matt from behind, kissing his cheek.

Matt jumped a little before relaxing into his chest “Why hello” He teased, putting the screwdriver and arm down “I wasn’t do anything” He smirked.

“You’re such a liar” He muttered, rubbing his head before kissing it “Ready to go?”

“Am not” Matt whispered as he stood up, going to get his shoes on “Have been for like ten minutes!” He grinned, standing up to smile widely at him “Would you like your arm on or anything?” He asked as he picked up his bag with Shiro’s clothes.

“Are too” Shiro snickered back, watching him before carefully taking the bag, offering what was left of his “Be gentle”

“Always am” Matt teased, adjusting it to fit perfectly before tightening it, loosening it when Shiro winced “Sorry” He mumbled, letting go and shaking his arm “All good to go”

Shiro sighed softly and grinned, taking Matt’s hand in his as they made their way down the stairs together. Matt light skipped down the steps, practically dancing down the staircase as Shiro kept hold of his hand, laughing every time he’d jump or skip a step.

“You’re such a weird one” Shiro mumbled to himself, more than anything.

“Last time I told you that you insisted you were the weird one and I’d known that since high school” Matt laughed, glancing back at him as he opened the door “Bye mom, I’m going over to Shiro’s for a bit” He called out.

“Have fun!” She shouted back.

“We will!” He smiled, going down the sidewalk to Shiro’s car “Man it’s been forever since I’ve seen your car” He mumbled.

“That’s because you do know that” Shiro smirked “And I know… But she’s back” He joked as he walked around to climb into the driver’s side.

Matt took a breath and sat in the passenger seat, relaxing stiffly as he remembered all their days from high school. He remembered the day they got ice cream and Shiro’s cone got stuck on the ceiling and the strawberry syrup stained the fabric. Matt glanced up just barely to see. Yup, still there.

“I know it’s nostalgic.. If you want, we can walk the forty-some minutes” Shiro frowned, offering his right hand for Matt to hold onto.

“No,” Matt cut him off, grinning as he took Shiro’s hand “I want this” He whispered.

“Alright..” Shiro whispered back, frowning “I’m gonna need my other hand” 

“Oh,” Matt mumbled, letting go of his hand “Right” He laughed.


End file.
